


still standing

by newmoons



Category: The Twilight Saga, Twilight, Twilight (Movies), Twilight Saga, Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/F, Lesbian Twilight, lgbt twilight saga, queer twilight saga, wlw, wlw twilight saga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 17:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16497206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newmoons/pseuds/newmoons
Summary: did i still belong? these rooms seem empty and they echo the words i don’t speak, reverberating in my chest like a hum.





	still standing

why are we both still standing?

you look at me with the moon in your eyes and i, i am a wave. and i cannot familiarize myself with the sacrifice of falling upon you like you are the shore; that common occurrence is no longer welcome in my command.

i keep myself from crashing like an ocean, but still i am pulled to you by these inexplicable oaths the gods have made; and, darling, i had never been religious before you.

i look at you as if you are the sun and i am burning. i devote myself to you but, no, i cannot reach you here; and i see the dark penetrating cold of space and astronomy hugging your tense frame.

you have thrown my planets out of a precious and careful line, and nothing can keep such a cataclysm of the soul away from darkness for too long, my love. i only wish to be in your orbit.

you used to look at me like worship: your eyes of gold swam with something like ambrosia, the food of gods. i have always been superstitious; i see what you can do and, love, you have put ares to shame.

vengeance is a powerful tool.

and how beautiful it looks on you; to beat within my chest the inanimate in me, for all the imitation of life and passion of a human soul.

you had always argued our humanity. i suppose now you are right. without that very human essence now, what may i call myself? not yours.

not yours.

did i still belong? these rooms seem empty and they echo the words i don’t speak, reverberating in my chest like a hum. you don’t call back. the emptiness haunts me.

at night the cold side of your pillowcase holds against my frame until i can no longer avoid it. amid sleep that does not soothe me and does not capture my (accounting), i feel you as a choking gasp. when i arise from deep thought of no particular declaration, i look at your ghost, i throw my arm cross the sheets to fall limp and empty. i miss you each time. hate this each time.

yet you remain unchanged, as we all have these past near hundred years. you are the diamond in the rough and only i break to your shape, but i no longer have that allowance to curl myself around you in every way as to feel no space between us.

he does not speak when he holds me for you; he had much practice before you, and still these arms offer me sanctuary where i can understand, where i can stay sane. too many images flash by me and i am a whirlwind; your decisions keep me on the end of a cliff.

i will throw myself into that sea for you.

they took notice. it was only a matter of time before our thoughts, once personal, were no longer of our belonging. how much more time we would have needed to nurse these wound? our limited time to address these issues came to an end. and each time you entered the room i froze. a statue at best, broken inhumanely at worst.

once cold, you are now calculating. you think too much: how to touch me so the diamond of my skin does not shatter like glass, and expose our consequences to this new life alone. alone.

why are we both still standing?

i would sooner fall on my knees in prayer, once devotion, to the thought of you. oh, how healing evades me. oh, how your lips look like heaven after all this hell.

oh, how i die. i wonder, would you be the angel come to bring me home? each time you smile i am more sure.


End file.
